it might just all be a facade

Wednesday, April 30, 2008;

♥ 4/30/2008 07:06:00 AM

Just tell me where it hurts>>

Yesterday was PONG'S BDAY! :D

It's fun seeing her carry the bulky yet cute box around in school.
It's fun eating cucumbers with her &the girls.
It's fun swinging her 18times (or more) instead of the initial hits/slaps.
It's fun having her chase us all around the classroom to whack us back.
It's fun lying to her bout having extra chem lesson yet turning out to be another 'surprise'.
It's fun seeing her go around the whole classroom trying to search for the 21 items we bought for her.
It's fun eating b&j icecream with the clique.
It's fun shouting, screaming, laughing, yelling, til ms loon came stepping into the classroom.
It's fun having to swing her again. (:
Happy 18th dearest! I love your name Pong &my name Bang. I love calling you my friend &then grabbing you to my side. I love the 'eh-okay-sorry-friend' thing with you. I love every moment spent with you.
Cos you're retarded, but i love retarded friends. (:

The girls went on to have a meal at pizza hut. I think huiyee huili pong and i are loving the drumlets! :D
So, it's a fun filled day spent with the girls.
Loads of laughter shared. Loads of joy shared. Loads of gossips shared. Loads of quality time shared.
I'd never imagine what class/school would be without all of you (plus the guys of cos!). :D

I'll be there for you
These 5 words i swear to you

Labels: rp's 18th

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

Sunday, April 27, 2008;

♥ 4/27/2008 08:52:00 AM

&that's smth only love can do>>

Hahah. Turns out that xuelian was snapping some pictures on friday.
&these reminds me of the screams &shouts when the classmates tried smearing cake onto my face. &of cos, the joy! :D
I ♥ s07!

It seems like every other bday celebration we have, it's always another Cake Fighting Session. Awesome.
Two more bdays next week to be celebrated!
Really awesome. (:

Anyways, i'll be happier in the days to come. (:
'Cos it's time to be happy &cheery already! Since all have been said &done.
Afterall, friends do come &go.
We all know that, dont we?

But rest assured.
Y'all will still be the ones my heart really turns at all time.

Labels: friends do come and go, it's time to be happy

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

Saturday, April 26, 2008;

♥ 4/26/2008 06:39:00 PM

I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss
&a prince i'm hoping comes with this>>

My mum asked her friend from NUS over to my house &reformat the other uber slow com.
Now, it's running at a speed of light. It doesn't hang or die on us anymore.
BUT ALL MY DATA, PICTURES, FILES, SONGS, EVERYTHING ARE GONE! )':
Thanks goodness i've transferred some of them over to this com. But still, most of them are gone.
G O N E. ):

On a lighter note, i finally snapped some pictures of my gifts. (:

The waistpouch/small backpack from OUTGEAR.
From my cousins Pauline &Daniel, &cousin-in-law CK.

Gifts from my cousins Michelle &Kahhern, &(soon to be)cousin-in-law Sean.
(PS. They're damn cute. They bought me a pair of earings to 'force' me pierce earholes. Hahah. DREAM ON. (:

Brownie/cake!
Thanks beeping. (:

Cake i had in fmss with the unit &the other april babies.
Thanks ruth for getting it, and everyone who chipped in. (:

Cake i had at home.
Thanks mummy! <33s

Cd of pictures, fave songs, messages, memories &LOVE &tiramisu!
Thanks dearest szemian! :D &those who had a part in it. <3s

The lovely card which reads 'One card. Twice the love. Half the cost!' Hahah.
Given by chanel &leonard.

Chocolatey cake, Crumper shoulder bag &Perilin's Silver pendant.
Thanks to everyone who had a role in it! :D
Namely, Ruping Huiyee Huili Huifang Beeping Aaron Bryan(chuang) Kokyao Benjamin Desmond Kaixin Xuelian Natalie Jingmin Sita Huixin Zhihao Bryan(fok) Joshua(kong) Manda Xiangfeng Xinee Sarah Yuliang. <3s

&of cos, those lovely messages sent by my loved ones. (:
(In order!)
Hafiz! (Number one! )
Jason
Huili
Yenyee
Vincent
Chanel
Benjamin (from pjc!)
Leonard
Ruizhen (Lucy!)
Amanda
Esther (batchmate!)
Aaron
Huifang
Edmund
Valerie
Brandon
Joa
Sheila
Yonghock
Grace
Huiling
Joel
Weisheng
Brother
Jerry
Yuanhao
2nd Aunt
Victor
Daniel
Pauline
Selene
Guozhong
Weikang
Kahhern
Jane
Desmond(s07)
Simon
Weiwen
******18 (i'm so sorry man! I lost quite alot of contacts while changing phone. &you din reply me when i asked you for your identity. Sorry!)
Hosea
Zhengxian
Yan'an

Thanks to the many others who wished me in school too! :D

All in all, i've great friends. &i'm truly grateful for their presence.
Like what chanel wrote in the card
; 'Seriously everything was so nice &awesome, not like now. Though school's not too bad but not as good as last time!'
&that's exactly the statement i've been looking for. (:

Labels: bday gifts

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

;

♥ 4/26/2008 07:53:00 AM

But only love can say, try again &walk away
But i believe, for you &me
The sun will shine one day
So i just play my part
&pray that you'll have a change of heart>>

I'm eighteen!
&i'm legal to buy things which i'm not able to do so, when i was seventeen.

The morning started off with me receiving b'day wishes from friends. (: It's heartwarming to know that people do rmbr your bday. :D
&sweetest amanda went to post a shoutout to 98.7fm! Hah, so i was told to listen to that station &to stick with it. When i was walking to school, the dee-jay finally announced "&Amanda wants to wish Wenfang a happy b'day!" Hahah, i was smiling like a retard, seriously. (: Thanks, loves.
Received more wishes from the fairsians at the table. Xiangfeng Esmonde &i went to sit at the cantten stage, facing the blood donors photo. Dont ask me why, i've no idea, but we sat there like fools, seriously. Hahah!
Ruiping wished me happy b'day before biting me. :\
Had pc! Napfa's long gone. (: Pc lessons are going to be so much more fun in future! The class girls + bryan surprised me with a small pandan swiss roll, with a candle on it. (: They sang the b'day song. How sweet!

Then, i realised that was the beginning of the 'SHOW'.
The first break started off with the girls giving me a Perlini's Silver pendant &an angbao, claiming they had no time to buy a gift. I was suspecting. (:
Then was maths, which Mr Lee took over Mr Leow. He still rmb aaron teo. How loving. (:
Huili &ruiping acted during this lesson. Rp emo-ed like some kid who lost her lollipop, &hl kept stressing me as to how to cheer rp up. I was still suspecting.
Rp continued to emo throughout the lesson, &she cried. This time, i believed!
So, i was told to accompany rp to the lib, while the rest went to the canteen. Rp cheered up quite alot when we were in the lib. Hahah, i thought it was my company! :\
Then we were instructed to go to the canteen.
&there! I saw the classmates crowding over a table like we did for aaron benja huixin sita bdays last yr. Hehe. :D
Bday song sang, three wishes made, &i was instructed to blow out the candles, while the rest had the idea of smashing my face into the cake in their minds. Lol. I hid my face in my shirt, which was so damn embarrassing. I swear i'll never do it again!
&like the tradition of s07, we started smearing cake onto one another faces &hands. Hahah. :D
&that's not all! The lovelies put everything into a red crumpler shoulder bag, &rp claimed that my puma bag was dumped away. :\
But the truth came out when they wanted to take back the angbao (which was actually a prop).

:D Thanks for making my b'day so awesome! (:
To 07s07 (huili ruiping huiyee beeping huifang bryan aaron kokyao benjamin desmond huixin sita jingming xuelian natalie kaixin) &the fairsians (zhihao bryan kong manda xinee xiangfeng sarah yuliang) who chipped in for the Yummy cake, Red Crumpler shoulder bag &PS's pendant
;Thanks alot! :D The cake never got yumm-ier, the bag never got red-der &the pendant never got silver-er! Heh.
(PS. Pictures of the gifts will be uploaded another time! :D When i'm not lazy, like now.)
To my s07 clique (namely, huili ruiping huiyee beeping huifang bryan aaron kokyao benjamin desmond)

;Thanks for everything! :D Really, really. I'm sure my b'day wouldnt have been so awesome without y'all. (: I'm so glad for your presence in class, it makes going to class, tolerating the boring tutorials/lectures, listening to teachers' rants &nags, rushing all the assignments worth it. (:

Went redcross after leaving some dialogue session early with hl &rp. (:
We had an April babies celebration, celebrating all April babies' birthday! Hahah. :D
Credits goes to Ruth for the delicious strawberry chocolate cake. (:
To chanel &leonard, thanks for the card! Hahah, &chanel lam wei jie. The ant &ladybird so ugly la, please! I demand a nicer one. :D

At home, my mum got me a fruit cake! :D It's damn delicious, although the cake itself is super creamy. I like the peaches grapes kiwifruit &strawberries on it. (:

I feel so exhausted, that the only thing i want now is to hit my bed &sleep. (;
By the way, i no longer feel excited and crazy over the fact that it's my bday! Hahah, at least not like how i did when i was in lower sec &pri school. Mm, it just feels like any other normal day, with my friends being slightly more friendly &loving than their usual friendly &loving self. (:
But still, it feels like it's another day. Owells, in anyways. I'm eighteen.

Apologies for the lack of photos in this post. Hah, there weren't exactly any photos taken in the midst of today actually, cos i'm usually the one who will initiate the idea of snapping photos. Hahah! (:
Doesn't matter, does it? Afterall, the memories will linger.

I do feel the hurt &disappointment. I do feel the tears &sadness.
But its okay, it's a truth i've been learn in time to come.
&i'll grow out of this.

Labels: My 18th BDAY

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

Friday, April 25, 2008;

♥ 4/25/2008 06:50:00 AM

I tried my best to make you see
There're hopes beyond the pain
If we give enough, if we learn to trust
But only love can say>>

Dear, i'm so sorry for calling off the dinner at such a last min notice. ):
&i'm so sorry for the fact that we couldn't meet up and catch up on the ol' times. ):
&&i'm so sorry for making you having to travel down from school to my house, to pass me the pretty tiramisu &cd of video.
But i still love you, alot (in fact).
That cd is truly love. I was so so so surprised when i see other friends' wishes for me! &i really do wonder where you got all photos (even unglam ones) from!
But thanks love, even though the video made me cry like nothing. :\
This few days has been one of the times when i start missing the good ol' time we spent in Fairfield, alot. I miss everything back then, when everything seems to fall nicely &neatly into place.
Everyone's comfortable &everything seems perfect.

But i've been feeling distant &drifted from everything. &for a moment, it seems as though 'my past' doesn't belong to me anymore! :\
But well, thanks dear. For putting in so much love &effort into this cd. Thanks for letting me know that our friendship is still going strong &we'll have years ahead in front of us. Thanks for letting me know although i'm feeling 'de-ttached' from the Fairsians, we still have the bond. &thanks, for letting me realised that whatever i'm struggling to hold on to, isn't too false afterall. (:
Yknow, this friendship of ours might just be one of the best-est gift i'd have ever received!

I'm feeling emotional &vulnerable recently. It's like, little things going around can affect my mood &make me cry anytime.
Tears of disappointment, sadness, happiness, touch-ness, tears of everything. I seem to have taste them all within a span of two days.

(PS. For those who have dedicated simple msges to the video, namely Selene Joaquina Clarence Jelin Jane Elis Val Zhengxian Joash Yenyee Nirma Martha Nyuk &of cos Ta Szemian!, really appreciate them! :D I'm glad for friends like yall.)

This place; it holds so much memories for me, both good &bad.
This place; it taught me the true meaning of friends, how friends will be there for one another with love &care.
This place; it let me have the chance to have gotten to know some of the most impt people in my life.
This place; it moulds and shapes my character into who i am today.
&this place; it's my good ol' Fairfield. (:

Labels: Good ol' fairfield, i love my dear (ta szemian), vulnerable

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008;

♥ 4/22/2008 07:25:00 AM

When memories are too much to sallow,
They’re too overwhelming, too much to fold.
I tried to keep them from turning dull,
Stapled them, and tucked into a file.
Sometimes, I don’t know whether are they good?
They keep me wanting more, just like food.
When memories seems too real to be over and gone,
&suddenly everything left, and there left none.
I make a tiny wish, and pray; that our friendships do remain.
Although the ugly truth is, all is starting to faint.

Monday's ending, which means i'm one more day closer.
I fear.
I fear of getting all disappointed &upset.
I fear of facing the truth, which i'm deceiving myself from.
Suddenly, i'm afraid.
Very.

Labels: i fear (really), poem

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

Sunday, April 20, 2008;

♥ 4/20/2008 08:25:00 PM

You're the one who tried to hurt me
Thinking i'd crumple, thinking i'd lay down &cry
No, not at all.
I will survive>>

For as long as i can rmbr, after stepping into jc.
I rmbr myself hanging onto a thread that seems to be invisible. I can't see it, nor can i touch it. But i just felt its presence, &i thought it was enough.
So, for so long, i've been hanging onto this string of invisible thread. I thought it's gonna save me from all the nasty falls i'm going to suffer.
But now, it's kind of dumb just thinking about it.

Why continue hanging onto smth that is only my illusion &fantasy?
Afterall, all dreams do come to an end.

No. I'm not being emo. I'm being realistic, for once. (:
&i'm smiling. My smile will be plastered here(i hope).

Hokay, for now, it's back to Arab Israeli conflict research. ):

Labels: realistic (for once)

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

Saturday, April 19, 2008;

♥ 4/19/2008 07:28:00 PM

It's in the science, &it's genetically proven
'Cos when you touch me
The reaction, it just blows me away
&baby loving you, comes easily to me>>

I'm a blood donor! :D
Hokay, initially i was a little freaked out over the blood drawing needle, although i still insisted in going for the blood donation.
Cos last year, i saw pictures (below) from my senior's blog. Hahah, kind of really freaked me out.

But nonetheless, im still glad i insisted. (: Pictures!

(: I'm so proud of myself!
Although the thought of donating blood has always been on my mind since i was in sec 3. I never really dared to donate, cos of my fear of injections &pain.
But this time, i decided to overcome those ~~damn~~ fears, &just go with my wishes! I mean, what if i die tmr, &never get to donate blood in my lifetime?
By the way, i cant donate blood with my left arm, cos the vein's too tiny. I was so scare when the person who's helping me inject the needle shook her head. I thought she's gonna reject me, like she did to the few others before me! ): But thank goodness, my right arm didnt let me down. Hahah, but left arm! I love you still. (;
Hahah. &now, i'm a blood donor.
I'm a Red Cross Volunter Instructor, &i'm a blood donor as well. This makes me feel so complete. Heh.
More blood donations i hope! Anyone? (:

Emo. Emo. Emo ~~shit~~.
Faint. Faint. Faint away.

Labels: Blood donation (triple exclamation mark)

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

Friday, April 18, 2008;

♥ 4/18/2008 03:18:00 AM

This might be the one last chance to make you understand
&i just can't let you leave me once again>>

I'm tired. Mentally drained.
Having tests every week isn't helping much too. :\
But it definitely help, since i had such great company in school &class. :D

Nothing much to update, really. My life is like, staled.

&afew weeks ago, i was abused by my friend!

(PS: the size of the blueblack is the size of my thumb.)
Tsk.

Labels: Blue black, mundane life

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

Sunday, April 13, 2008;

♥ 4/13/2008 07:04:00 AM

Thanks for the memories
Thanks for the memories>>

Y'know, i really want to be contented with all that i have right now.
I want to be happy with what i'm going through now.
&i want to be pleased with everything at present.

But with negative things going around everything, i just can't be ~~happy~~as happy as i want to be. :\

Labels: i want to be happy

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

Saturday, April 05, 2008;

♥ 4/05/2008 08:01:00 AM

Oh, it's fairfield, at fairfield
Where all the world is bright
Where love is in the sunshine
&all the hearts are gay &light>>

Good ol' Fairfield! :D
Let's countdown to the grand 120 anniversary! (:

Back at Fairfield today with the batchmates. It's really good, i swear.
Although i do visit Fairfield rather often due to redcross &everything, but when i headed down to the building today, the feeling's just somehow different. (: &i'm not complaining!
Hahah. Maybe it's because it's been such a longggg time since i'm back in the ol' beloved school with all the familiar faces around. (:
&for a moment, i felt so though we hadn't graduate. We're still secondary fours, struggling yet enjoying the big Os. We still have one another to pull through every ~~shit~~nonsense. :D
&&i was looking forward to returning to school on monday, with the same yellow &blue uniform, going to the locker/sec2 table/rcy room.
Oh my, i'm so glad i'm a TEN YEAR OLD FAIRSIAN. (:

So anyways, i woke up at 0600 this morning! Unearthly hour. :\
Was supposed to have breakfast with kong, but it was cancelled as someone was too lazy. TSK!
Headed down to school at around 0730. &i felt good! Cos Fairfield's just afew blocks &a traffic light away from my house. :D
Met up with familiar faces at the busstop &the gate. &into the school, we went!

Pictures up! :D

Half of the classroom block.

Celebration!; Yellow &blue.

The emcee on top of aldersgate building. :D

Hello selennnne! &hello to jiayi &hosea poking out from the background.

Hello D1!

Hello val!

Hello stanley!

Hello girls!

Primary 5F!; with only 4 real students from the class.

Secondary 2C!; Best-est class!

Secondary 4E!; classmates who went through stinky Os with me, &hosea darren &jiayi.

Say we love maths!

Say we love chem! (although i really stink at this subject :\)

The event ended with all of us burning under the blazing sun, singing 'Y M C A'. Hahah!
&before i knew it, the little chitchat session with friends were over.
&the day spent with my mates was over.

With them, i'm able to forget my troubles &sadness for the moment.
With them, it seems as though the sad reality i'm living in doesnt exist.
With them, i seem to be the real 'me', &i'm enjoying every single moment that lingers on.
(: For without them, i don't know where i'll be.

Anyways! Since this is such a happy, sunny post, i really don't want to spoilt it.
Sooo, just treat it as i'm happy now. (:
Even though it may just be superficial.

Labels: Happy day spent at fairfield with mates (exclamation mark)

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

;

♥ 4/05/2008 02:49:00 AM

I don't know what hurts worse baby
Seeing you with her or being alone
I know she doesn't love you baby, not like I did
Oh, what's the point you're not listening anyway>>

This week's really hectic.
&i think i really should declare every thursday a "Moody Day".
Everyone's so piss-y &ready-to-burst. :\
On a lighter note, it's time to heave a sigh of relief, since friday marks the closure of one mad week in school. (:

Hokay! I received the china photos from cal alr! :D &i just finish looking thru them.
Hahah. Good ol' memories, definitely!
So i'm posting up photos here!
(PS: those who (might) want the photos -aaron, bin, pam ,get them from me! )

Our first meal in china; Basically, this is just a basket full of fried grass, with an addition of afew prawns.

Painting in the classroom; Kind of inspiring though. (:

Gents; No doors for them! Thank goodness the school put up doors for each cubicles in the ladies. :D

In the Gents with cal. :p

Outside our beloved hostel room!

Lesson; Doing drawing/painting with 'mao-bi'.

(Another) Lesson; Face painting. (:

Pizza company; First trip there!

Group photo; we had alot of BAOs for dinner that.

Bus trip to somewhere.

Group photo (again)!

Clique photo. :D

We walk this whole stretch of corridor, please!

Pam &cal with the tall-ie.

Group photo (again, again)!

Clique; at china's KTV.

; At Shan Lin Temple, there's this guy who write words on the group, using water. Really awesome. (:

Group photo (again again, again)!

Group photo (again again again, again)!; At Yun Tai San, we really love this trip! ;D

Jon; i think this photo's really hiliarious! :D

;See that mini blue statue over there? It's jon! (:

Aaron me cal jon; the water's really cooling &nice!

Stunt show; Mind you, those are real swords! Haha, but all in all, the whole show is just a scam lah. Trying to cheat us, foreigners, money. TSK!

Train ride back to china's airport; the cabin looks pretty &romantic!

Random shot.

&before we knew it, we're back in spore.

(: I really like this trip, which is kind of different from my other school overseas trip.
Those were mainly to help the needy, or to study over there, or to have some culture exchange programme. Of cos, this is too. But it feels more like a holiday trip with my friends! (:
Heh, say. Although the toilet conditions are really URKKK.

I still wouldn't mind going thru the trip all over again, with all of us again. :D
Like what everyone said, &like what i used to say.
Its more than a trip, it's a sweet escape away from all these ~~horrible shit~~ which is on-going every single day.
I'm missing the trip all over again! (:

Alrights, smth to ponder about.
"If we're subjected to a change, which might just (&most prolly) stay permanent. Instead of being sad &depressed over it &cracking our minds to figure out how to go about undoing the change. Why not just go easy with it, &change our mindsets so we can be happier, since we're stuck with it."
Agree?
Agree.
:\ But then again, sometimes, whatever we think &say aloud, aren't easy task to accomplish.

I'm nursing a terrible headache now, so g'byes!

Labels: chem test's over (shout for joy), china trip memories (exclamation mark), end of a hectic week, smth to ponder about

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.